Good Friends Are Hard to Find


A post in the series, “Why I Write About My Dad Each May.” Find all the posts here.

Those three guys above were my best friends from high school. We were on the basketball team and did everything together. My friend Mike is on one side of me and my friend Gemayal (white suit) is on the other. I drove them to and from school everyday.

I still remember exactly where we were when I told them about my dad. We were driving home after basketball practice when I mumbled out, “My dad has cancer.” They were shocked and concerned. I don’t really remember much apart from that moment, but the thing that sticks out to is how hard it was to tell them the news.

We have a hard time restraining ourselves from sharing good news and have a relatively easy time sharing about bad events in our life, but we don’t really know how to share about things like cancer. I think it is something about the fear of unfamiliarity.

I didn’t know how to process my dad’s cancer so I had a hard time knowing how to share it with my friends and bring them into it. For a few weeks I remember not wanting to tell anyone because I didn’t think it was a big deal and didn’t want to be “that guy” who turns the attention to himself. I finally told my closest friends because they were like brothers to me, and my dad was a dad to them, and I knew that they deserved to know and enter the mess with me.

Good friends are hard to find. They are even harder to find when your world spirals out of control. When I look back on these days I am just grateful that I had some good friends who could be with me through the worst year of my life. They didn’t try to say things to solve it. They were just there with me and they were heartbroken, because they were losing a dad too. 

May you all have the blessing of true friends as I have had in my life.

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