The Beginning of the End


A post in the series, “Why I Write About My Dad Each May.” Find all the posts here.

The photo above is from Thanksgiving 2003. It was the last family photo we took with everyone together. I remember having a lot of fun while we took those pictures. Thanksgiving was always a fun memory with our family and 2003 was just like all the others except that it was one day after my dad was diagnosed with cancer.

I remember all the adults crying and putting their hands on my dad as they prayed for God to heal him. It was strange and uncomfortable to me. I thought it was a bit of an overreaction since my dad just had cancer, which most people get, and would recover after treatment. It didn’t even cross my mind that he could die.

Dad’s Journal, November 28, 2003:

“Why is it that it seems to make such compelling good sense that we know how God thinks and why He must be doing what seems to be happening in our midst?  To have the audacity to think that we can understand, apart from His revelation, what is in His mind and heart!

I note that it has been more than a week since my last entry.  What a week it has been.  After more CT scans and a biopsy of the tumor on my back, we have confirmed that there is cancer in my body.  The tumor is cancerous and a couple of my lymph nodes are enlarged, probably due to cancer.  This morning I am going to the hospital for a bone scan.  I have encountered far more needles in this past week than I ever wanted to see in my life.  But as I have faced that fear, with such wonderful help from our Gracious God, it has lessened and I know that I must be prepared for much more to come.

Fear defines the boundaries of our faith.  I am sure of this and realize that I am embarking on a faith building journey.  I have not yet come to the place where I can honestly say that I welcome this journey, but God has given me good peace to accept it as His good path for me.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving.  It was the best Thanksgiving that I can remember.  We were at the Gaultons’ to share in a marvelous meal, one that I was able to eat much of.  And after dinner, I was the recipient of a wonderful time of prayer.  May you all have a moment such as I have had to know that you are loved.  It is wonderful beyond words.  There is nothing greater in life to love and be loved.  This I know in a deep way today and I am feeling so very thankful and unworthy.”

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